Perhaps one of the reasons that we have a hard time creating authentic community is because we don’t have a good idea of what it looks like? Right now we call any group of people who get along with each other, a community. Most of the time there is nothing ‘authentic’ about that group being a community.
A few years ago I was a part of a small design team that came together to experiment with creating authentic community. Our motivation was to combine my conceptualized Living Communication System, with the work of Peter Block from his book, Community: The Structure of Belonging.
As a design team, we were very committed, and spent an amazing amount of time together. At one point we were talking about what to call our group and as we each shared about our experience, we realized that the majority of us had referenced themes of galaxy, stars and constellations. In our experience of the process we caught the vision that what we were doing was—constellating ourselves.
Alastair McIntosh explains beautifully how deep a word constellate is in his book, Soil and Soul:
“Constellate, now that’s another cracker of a word for the toolkit. Con as in congregate, and stella as in star: ‘to group meaningfully together’, like a pattern of stars. The Celtic bards understood that ‘conscientisation’- the deepening of both consciousness and conscience together – is a spiritual process. It constellates the energies of a specific passion: something that W.B. Yeats called ‘fire in the head’. The fire in the head is an inner fire …. It’s a fire that wakes you up at night and penetrates your darkest spaces, burns off the psychological crap, freeing energy and inspiration to attempt the otherwise unthinkable.” (McIntosh p. 124)
In the experience of building community from this core team, we discovered that as we spun energy and intention into the center of our group process, the more energy and transformation was spun outward, through us, into the world. It was magical.
Why is constellation the perfect word for powerful community?
Unique Stars
As we move through this time of change, what we really need is for every individual to be fully authentic and unique. In a constellation, stars are separate and for the pattern to be the most visible, each must shine as brightly as it was created to. There is no pattern of the whole when individual lights are “hidden under a bushel” or think that shining their unique self isn’t being humble.
As my design team progressed in our work together we experienced something unexpected. Each of us began to find that we were expanding into our work outside of the group. We were finding and expressing our personal authority, which we called our sovereignty. We discovered that when we were invited to be fully authentic within the group, it helped us be more fully authentic outside of the group. This is what true power is; being able to BE all that we came here to BE!
Celestial Sphere
A constellation is a celestial orb; it is three dimensional. The model that I use for a healthy, authentic organizational structure is a sphere. When everyone is constellated in a sphere all people are at the same level, there are no power differences, no social justice issues, and there is no marginalization. Each of us in the design team felt that we had experienced being marginalized in our past, and the belonging that we felt in the group made us feel whole, welcomed and safe, which was healing.
One of the objectives of the design team was that each of us had equal responsibility for how the group operated. We were co-facilitators. When something was happening that wasn’t in alignment with our personal understanding of our group context we were expected to bring it up to be talked about. If one person acted inappropriately to another member we were all equally responsible to say something. If the group got off track each of us was responsible to pull us back. One of us might be the official leader for a meeting but all of us were equally responsible to be a facilitator. For us this took quite a bit of practicing. Normally groups have a named “leader” and all others abdicate their responsibility for the group outcomes. In our design team we were ALL responsible.
This included times when it seemed that two specific people were having a problem. The truth is that in group dynamics two people often become the spokespeople for something that is happening to the whole. Once a group member feels that one person is speaking for them they step back and let that person carry the issue. We had a number of times when we had to bring the issues between two people out with the whole group so that we could claim it for the whole.
Dynamic Tension
Maybe this term makes you nervous, because in our current world, we often attempt to avoid any form of tension. In my design team experience it was really hard for me to stay and not walk-away when there was dynamic tension. My brilliant co-participant called me out at one point by reminding me that in my work I had claimed that commitment was imperative. I stayed and experienced something very powerful. I learned how much I could still love and respect the person that I had the dynamic tension with. There is a difference between having a relationship and being in-relationship. In a constellation we commit to being in-relationship which means that we don’t have to be best friends, but we respect and value each other for our differences.
Think of a heavenly constellation; there is a gravitational pull between planets/stars and at the same time there is an equal pushing away. It is the tension between the two energies that maintains the pattern! There is a beautiful and perfect balance.
Another group had been using my work for about a year and were enjoying the results. They asked what would make us go deeper and I said that once we experienced dynamic tension that our connections would strengthen. It happened, the group had a conflict and we used a reflective process to talk through it. We had a tense conversation! At the end one young woman bubbled with joy saying, “This is why I love this group! It’s like we are participating in creating peace”!
Dynamic tension is a wonderful peace-maker. Once we navigate tension with a group and find that we can trust the process, we are strengthened in our ability to be authentic and trust each other.
Magic in the Middle
What pulls a constellated community in to the center? What makes up its gravitational pull? Its why; the reason it exists; its purpose and possibility. A community that is not clear why it’s together will let itself spin apart. This isn’t just a mission statement. The why can’t be that you want to be a church to deepen your relationship with God. What is possible when you are in a connected community with each other? What more is possible when you do the work to create your authentic community? The WHY is a clear idea of what is more important than each individual. My, The WHY. Purpose and Possibility, can be found here.
I am yearning for constellated community
Do you see that an authentic community would be a constellation? I want to feel safely held by a pulling in and a pushing way by a community where I know I belong. I yearn to experience a, “‘fire in the head’, a fire that wakes me up at night and penetrates my darkest spaces”, a fire that helps me find the type of energy that I can use to participate in changing the world.
I like to believe that this is what we are all yearning for. With intention and commitment we can learn to use new processes that constellate our communities; bringing us into alignment with the way that God created our world. May we each shine as brightly as we were created to shine; together in authentic community that is more powerful than we have ever experienced before.
My original version of this piece was published on AfterChurch.com on 2/18/15. To read on that site: http://after.church/new-church-a-constellation-not-a-melting-pot/